Borya is 16 years old and has autism. Borya is growing up in a family where three children are being raised: together with him – his brother David, who is 11, and his little sister Maria, she is 3. The family now lives in Makarov.
Borya is a gentle and affectionate boy. He subtly feels the world around him, but interacts with it in a special way. Sometimes it seems that he understands what is being asked of him, but at the same time it seems that he expects his mother to do everything for him: help him get dressed, give him advice, support him in the simplest things.
The birth was very difficult. Borya was born weighing 4400 g and 53 cm tall. The discharge note stated that the child was healthy. But later it turned out that during pregnancy Victoria (Borya’s mother) had a TORCH infection – rubella. She recalls that at that time there was only a rash, and it seemed like it was an allergy. No one could have thought about such consequences.
The first alarm signals appeared very early. At 2.5 months, Victoria noticed that the boy was squinting a little. She and her husband went to the doctor and heard a diagnosis that came as a shock – cataracts in both eyes. It was a moment of confusion and fear, when it was difficult to understand what was happening and how to live on.
Later, the doctors diagnosed him with moderate mental retardation with features of autism.
Victoria’s great support is her husband. She speaks of him with gratitude as a friend, beloved and loving father. They have been together for over 20 years, almost 17 of them married. He is there every day: he helps with the children, supports them in everyday life and in the most difficult moments. Together they are a support for each other.
Daily life with Borya is a lot of patience and constant work. There are times when he does not understand the address at all. It is emotionally difficult when a child cannot understand what is wanted from him. Then Victoria repeats over and over again: “Borya, by himself.” He can put on a sweater or pants, but with difficulty. For other children of his age, these are elementary things, but for him it is a serious effort. He can partially dress and undress, but he cannot fully serve himself yet.
Every achievement of Borya is a great joy for his mother. When he learned to eat with a spoon by himself, it became a real happiness. The opportunity to eat a plate of soup by himself is a great victory. Victoria rejoices at every new skill, every small step forward.
At the beginning of the full-scale war, the family lived in the village of Kopeyevka, next to his parents. The village is small, near the forest. It was relatively calm there: explosions could be heard, but nothing was happening nearby. Borya was not afraid of loud sounds and slept peacefully at night, while his brother David was very scared and cried.
At that time, Lighthouse administrator Olena was able to call her family even when there was no electricity and communication was only available in limited spots. She offered help and the opportunity to go abroad, but the family decided to stay.
Life went on even in the difficult conditions of the war. They walked in the forest, in the summer they went to the river, where Borya loves to swim—his dad bathed him. They planted a garden, spent time together and tried to stay calm. And during this difficult period, the Lighthouse team was by the family’s side.
Victoria knew the Lighthouse team even before the center opened. This acquaintance became an important support for her, because Olena (Lighthouse administrator) also raises a child with a disability and understands this path well. When Victoria heard that Makarov was planning to open a free center for children with disabilities, it was a great joy, because there had never been anything like it in their area before.
Borya was one of the first to start visiting the Lighthouse center.
From the first weeks of rehabilitation, Victoria began to notice changes. It was a gradual development – step by step. What seems simple to someone, for Borya became a great achievement, and for his parents—real happiness.
Thanks to the classes at the center, Borya began to develop fine motor skills, respond better when addressed, understand what is being said to him. Now he pronounces individual words, says hello, gives a “high five”. Recognizes animals by sounds, catches a ball. For Victoria, these are very valuable changes that show his development. And for this she is extremely grateful to Lighthouse.
The center team works attentively and responsibly, explains to parents what to do at home, how to consolidate skills. Thanks to this, progress continues outside of classes.
The family also received and receives great support from Lighthouse in everyday life. They received grocery sets, clothes, hygiene products: diapers for Borya and Maria, wipes, household chemicals, formula for Maria’s nutrition.
During difficult times, Lighthouse gave the family a generator with fuel. The children also received bicycles for Borya and David, and for the New Year holidays, the family received monetary gifts.
Victoria remembers trips to the camp in Zolotonosha, organized by Lighthouse. There, she had the opportunity to relax, chat with other moms of children with disabilities, feel support and realizes she is not alone in her life experiences.
The family actively participates in the life of the center. They attend master classes, come to meetings, communicate with other mothers, relax together. David goes to the integration club, which he really likes.
Victoria speaks about Lighthouse with great gratitude and warmth. For helping their family, for constant support, for caring in different areas of life. For the great work of the team, for professionalism, for sincere smiles, for love for children.
And with special gratitude – to the partners, thanks to whom this help becomes possible for their children.
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